Typing this in lab…waiting for a blot transfer…an hour and thirty minutes remaining…

This morning, I dropped Twinkie off for her vet checkup, then I went to lab to set up a gel. I almost had a meltdown when I couldn’t find anymore protein ladder (it’s just a standard that’s run along with my protein so I can gauge the size of my protein in comparison). I rummaged through everyone’s freezer three times before waving a white flag while calling a few people from lab. I felt like such a horrible person for bothering everyone on a weekend, but I was desperate. Seriously…I was so desperate I almost convinced myself that it would be okay to go through the other lab’s freezers and just leave an IOU. Don’t worry, I didn’t, it was just an almost. After calling and finding out that no one had any, I went through everyone’s freezer a fourth time. And lo and behold, a tube of protein ladder! I don’t even know how I missed it the first…three times!

Since the gel needed six-ish hours to run, I went shopping. What better way to kill time and keep my mind off being sad? Retail therapy is a blessing. 

Yes, it’s sideways.

It’s so strange being in lab when no one is here…well…there’s one other person. I had a (mildly) hard time deciding whether or not to say hi to him, but he didn’t seem to acknowledge my presence so I decided not to.

Okay…I got really bored and attempted to blow up a glove…apparently nitrile gloves can’t really be blown up like latex gloves. I’m tired! Give me a break. =[

Do you ever get to that point where you’re so overwhelmed that you try to disappear? Yeah…

I still don’t feel all that great, but I know I can’t just put everything on hold until I decide I’m ready to take on life again. 

I think one of the hardest things to do is to put on the facade of being happy when I know I’m one step away from having an emotional breakdown. The easier thing to do would be to walk around like I was broken, but I’m a firm believer that no one should ever be sad. Why? Because no one benefits from it. For me, just having positive thoughts can actually change my mindset. 

But like all things in life, it’s easier said than done.

But it’s Friday. I do have a lot to do in lab tomorrow, but that’s a good thing! I need to keep my mind off being sad and staying busy will definitely help. And of course, I have tons of studying to do for both class and MCAT. 

Three days ago, I walked into a wooden dowel. Now see, this dowel was lying horizontally and about a foot off the ground, and one end was lodged between the wall and laundry machine. I have this lovely bruise on my shin right now, and I’m still befuddled by how much force humans use to simply walk (okay, I was really kind of running but who walks in their own house?!).

Yes, it does hurt. It hurts just walking! I’m broken. =[

Photo has nothing to do with the new year…just has to do with the weather.

One of my biggest faults, this past year, is that I’ve wanted so bad to be in love that I’ve tried to find it in anyone. I know New Year’s Resolutions lists really only apply to the New Year of the Gregorian calendar, but I’m saying this will be my Lunar New Year’s Resolution — putting love on pause.

-The Dalai Lama